'Mo shit left at dumpsters.

Best guess? This huge-ass TV was fried by a WAPA surge, and the owners took a bat to it. I'm actually surprised they didn't take a bat on a WAPA worker.

OK, someone has their panties in a bundle.

And it's not me, for once (write that on your calendars). Bronc is all distraught because he received this postcard in the mail from T. Rowe Price, inviting him to "go green". Honey bunny, it's going to be alright. It's amazing that this company even recognizes your V.I. mailing address. Sleep well, and don't have nightmares of this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjOQRdXG6s0

Skinny Leg's?

Happy father's day, pop.

Dad,

I didn't buy you lots of gift's, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I'll leave you with this question, though. Why are people so enamored with flinging apostrophe marks around when they write? I reviewed "The Elements of Style" (thank you, PNC),  and the proper use of apostrophe marks in that book starts with the FIRST SENTENCE ON PAGE ONE.

I've amassed a whole good pile of 's gone wrong, and my goal next week is to torture you all with them.

Not that you read this stupid blog, but I love you dad, and I'll see you soon.

The worst handicapped parking space in the whole world.

The sign says that handicapped access is around the corner, but you need to go up two flights of stairs to read the sign. Seriously? So someone parks in this lame-ass spot, only to find NO SIDEWALK? And never mind being shoved next to the dumpster at the beginning of a very busy intersection. Shame on these owners for not being more in compliance with the law.

Um, so I am supposed to get all excited for a house listed for $945,000.00, with no bedding and a shot of the CEILING FAN?

I am being lazy with my post tonight, but the people who write are lazier than I am.

It was a apin sometimes finding parkign int own last time for dnner.

_______________________________________________________

So so true and very good advise!

________________________________________________________

Ariona Law          

_________________________________________________________                                                                                        

Berlingirl, i dudnt know you were down here now. Charlie told me 

he ran in to you. We were at MHo today too. Some guy eyed my 

beCh bag but no idea if he was a formuite or just wondered what it meant.

___________________________________________________________

We could of went to Flannigans island 

__________________________________________________________

any regulars out there have any 1st had knowledge.

__________________________________________________________

sea cay villa klien bay current info

__________________________________________________________

Then back to the villa for some pool time and a nice sunset...again. 

I have pictures, but tinypic is giving me trouble so I cannot pload like I want. 

__________________________________________________________

Soon we left this to go get a Blue Burger and Presidente at Sknney's.

__________________________________________________________

I will poll the ret of my roomies & maybe we can get a group review. 

__________________________________________________________

After beaching it for few hours, it was lunc time.

__________________________________________________________

Who knows what tomorrow may bring, I mea besides the BB gathering! 

__________________________________________________________

Oh, lookie, lookie, green pool! No wonder they are drinking.

Oh, lovely.

Trash Talk

Nice! So, WTF? We've got two TV's, one mattress, a dead BBQ, an old dryer, and a SHOPPING CART. Is this like "Let's Make a Deal?"

Please see my highlighted answer, below:

11. Let’s Make a Deal

Hosts: Monty Hall (1963-1977; 1980-1981; 1984-1986; 1990-1991), Bob Hilton (1990), Billy Bush (2003)
Years on TV: 1963-1977; 1980-1981; 1984-1986; 1990-1991; 2003

If you had to name one of the zaniest game shows, Let’s Make a Deal would definitely fit the bill. Part of the fun was host Monty Hall’s selection of contestants from an audience of people in crazy costumes trying to stand out in the crowd. Once the dealing began, contestants could choose from behind door or curtain number one, two or three – with either legit prizes or total crap.

Oh, horror show. The plumber pulled this out of my bathroom sink drain today.

Thank you for a lovely dinner, and for the awesome sign in your "REST ROOM". Apparently, Bronc does not think that I know the meaning of "rest room".

I'll say it again! Checkyouradvertisementpeople.

Kind of right up there with oysters, caviar, and champagne.

A term explaining something that will make you a man or make you tougher.

"Whew, that's a strong drink. It'll put hair on your chest."

Chicken in a chair.

Sunday, June 6, 2010, at the beach.

I did a google search for "chicken in a chair", and all I found was:

Chicken in a can.

Chicken in a crock pot.

Chicken in a biscuit (also, an alternate spelling, "biskit";  nice!).

Chicken in a bag.

Chicken in a slow cooker.

The last one works for me, because it is SO fucking hot here, it feels like we are living in a slow cooker.

They were arriving at 7:30 p.m, and didn't get to Concordia until AFTER MIDNIGHT???

“ Help!! Taxis to Concordia - Late arrival ”

May 23, 2010, 1:03 PM

We'll be arriving at 7:30 to STT, renting a car there from Budget 

(I'm 23, that was my only choice), and then taking the passenger 

ferry and leaving the car there for the night and picking it up the 

next morning, since the car barge doesn't run after 7pm.... 

after I get to Cruz Bay, are there going to be taxis available 

that will be willing to go all the way out to Concordia?? 

What are my choices here?? I'm leaving in 2 days!!! Really 

excited but nervous about a couple of logistics issues :) 

We would really appreciate some info on this, thanks!!!

4. Re: Help!! Taxis to Concordia - Late arrival

Jun 04, 2010, 4:58 PM

I'm glad to report that we did not get stuck in Cruz Bay 

although we did get rejected by at least two taxis who 

had no desire to drive all the way to Concordia... it did 

cost us $40, and I tipped the driver $10 because she 

spent at least 25 min after we arrived to Concordia trying 

to help us find the office at 12:30 am (apparently the taxi 

drop off location changed from the last time she had been there)

It took us about 4-5 hours to get our car from the Red Hook 

Ferry parking lot and bring it back to Concordia, so I totally 

agree with everyone that responded to either stay in STT 

fro the night or plan to arrive early to cach the car barge

This is the bee's knees!!!

I got a pocket got a pocketful of sunshine.

And to learn how to take a stool sample, read here:  http://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Stool-Sample

Maybe JJ's serves Texas Toast?

This is JJ's Texas Coast Cafe in Cruz Bay:

 
This is a recent travel forum post:


"We went to eat breakfast at JJ's Texas Toast."


This is Texas Toast:

"2 real adults"?

I've been reading trip reports for DAYS, maybe that's the problem! Due to a health 

setback I am at the last minute seeking accommodation for 10 days in July for 

2 real adults, a 20 year old, and 3 12-16 year olds. We are attending a wedding in 

St. Thomas so will be there for 5 nights and I think we'll want to be on St. John for 

the other 4 nights. We would like one of the locations to be on the beach however 

we are not really resort people, don't need crowds or shopping, do like good food 

but it doesn't have to be upscale. I expect the kids will want to do lots of soft adventuring: 

snorkeling, horseback riding, hiking, kayak/rafting, surfing and so on. I'm most concerned 

about the 20 year old and think maybe he would benefit from having places of interest 

(such as mild nightlife scenes) within some kind of walking distance. Is there anywhere 

to stay that is not a resort but is in walking distance of interesting sights and sounds? 

Our ideal would be what I think would be described as a "funky" resort-type place on the 

beach but I'm guessing that isn't what we'll find on these islands. Coconut Coast Villas on 

St. John has a great location but the rooms/balconies/pool seem a bit basic although with 

a budget of $500/night maybe that's the best we'll find? Basically if you want beachfront 

you're going with resorts, is that right? Seems that all the private rentals are sky high 

(literally, not financially) which makes me think we'll spend all day away somewhere 

doing the kids activities rather than driving up and down so much so if that's the case why 

rent a nice place? We're also considering Magen's Fancy Villa for the time on St. Thomas. 

Aw geez, would anyone just like to tell me where to go? The other real adult would be so relieved!

And what the hell does that mean?

I don't think you'll need a very large amount of money to live here for one semester. 
A medium to large amount of money will do.

Alot? And you're a reporter?

In 3 days, La Vuelta encircles the entire island of Puerto Rico. The total distance is 375 miles. The shortest day’s ride is 94 miles. And, while the total elevation gain for the entire ride is only 11,000 feet, the few serious climbs on the route are STEEP. Some of the grades exceeded 15% and go on long enough that they’ve got to hurt. Riders are divided into three pelotons. The fast group rode at 25-30 M.P.H., the middle group at 20-25 M.P.H. and the “slow” group at about 18 M.P.H.

Riders in this year's LaVuelta tour on Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico has the three day La Vuelta Lighthouse Tour, 

covering 375 miles around the entire island. 

The Tour de France has, well, alot of France


I hope this helps you A LOT:

http://unenlightenedenglish.com/2009/04/alot-vs-a-lot-vs-allot

Real Estate Listings

Oh, goodie! Another ghost in the mirror!

And what the hell is that bloody rag hanging over the TV?

You call this Innovative?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Me:

"Good afternoon;  it's raining like crazy and my phone has gone out yet again".

Reply from a Kind Innovative Customer Service Agent (KICSA, kind of sounds like "Kiss My Ass"):

"OK, dear, give me your name and number and I'll set up a repair date".

Me:

"Good, I promise you that if my phone fixes itself after the rain ends, as it often does, I will cancel the appointment".

Reply from KICSA:

"Thank you.  I have you down for repair on June 1st.  I wish today was Friday".

Me:

"Sorry, honey, but hang in there.  Also, can you tell me how to call forward my phone line to my cell?".

Reply from KICSA:

"Oh, no dear, I don't know how to do that".

Me:

"Is there anyone there who can help me?".

Reply from KICSA:

"Oh, no, I don't think so".

Damn, I knew I should have never posted this:

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=5559375009527074024&postID=79964328164348388

Oh, rats! If this had been at Worst Bank, my black heart would be filled with joy.

Anyhoo, I am planning on poking my eyeballs out rigth now.

“ Planning 40th Birthday trip... ”

May 19, 2010, 10:38 AM

Hi all. Iy's been a while :) We just returned form 

St. martin so I have been hanging out on that forum.

 e had a great trip and stayed in an awesome villa but 

SXM isn't one of my favorite islands. St. John is much better! 

Anyhoo...my best friend and I noth tirn 40 next spring so we 

are in the process of planning a trip for us and our hubbies 

(no kids). Our top choice rigth now is Staniel Cay in the Exumas. 

But also considering Anguilla and St. John. 

At first I really wanted to st. John but then i thought we 

should save that for when we bring the kids, but I am back and forth.

To help us make our decision, I wanted to present some villa 

options in St. John and see if anything fit the bill perfectly. I now 

require an awesome sunset view :) And while we don't need a

luxury vila, I would like something with a large outdoor living 

area and pool (hot tub would be nice too) . It really dens't 

matter to me which part of the island we are on 

as long as I can see the sunset!

Matchy trashy!

Day one:

Day three:

Twins separated at birth.

Saturday, May 22, 2010.

So, I had an arrival today. My guests made the 1:00 boat from town, hooray. Love the downtown boat. I was headed for the dock at 1:40 p.m., and much to my surprise, saw this:

Access to the dock is closed, for what I thought was a steel pan fundraiser. I drove back around, through the round-about, and somehow managed to back up to the dock. THERE WERE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. And me, holding my little sign, and looking for my guests. All of a sudden, a helicopter swooped down, a DEA cigarette boat circled the harbor, the ambulance took off, and some "drunk man" was arrested and handcuffed while trying to board a power boat. Food was being sold in the park, and the steel pans were being set up. They were also doing tours on the Coast Guard cutter, tied up at the dock where the ferries should have been.

I felt like I was hallucinating. And I still could not find my guests. I asked someone at the dock what was going on, and his reply was something along the lines of "Safe Boating Week, and they are doing reenactments". Really?  Yup, your tax dollars at work;  all of the bells and whistles were out in full force today. I was actually too stunned and befuddled to pull out my camera.

I finally learned that the passenger ferries were diverted to the old barge dock at the creek. Cluster fuck? And that the main ferry dock had been closed since at least 8:00 this morning, according to the car rental agent, and she said departing guests were freaked out. Apologies to my guests who left this morning, I had no idea.

So, welcome to St. John! I don't think Tourism was at the creek to hand out free rum punches. It must have been a very warm welcome to arrive here, after traveling all day, to a harbor filled with every sort of local and federal agency swooping and swarming around. Enjoy your visit!

Price Reduced to $265,000

As I see it, ti's not really cute; I think ti's semi creepy.

So you see..ti's like this. I am semi retired and I think i would like to do the remainder 

of my cute little years in what I have heard is Paradise. I would like to begin by spending 

the month of July in a rented Apartment,or room in someone's house and keep the cost 

down so I can decide if my plan is what I want it to be. Anyone out there able to 

accommodate this idea...??? C'mon now.. you know it's you don't you..? Yes I thought so.

WTF?

Can someone please tell me what this means?

"Live is not about surviving the storm, it's about dancing in the rain"

Awesome! Can of "whip-ass"!

http://demmansay.com/files/Sanes_gets_Ass_Whipped.pdf

While you wait at DMV, some literature to help you pass the time...

Hello, woman, you are on the beach while Hazmat is there cleaning up?

Hmmm, come on down to St. John's; you seem to know it all, me son.

Greetings,

I have a friend who told me that St John's is the 

place to work for bartending as well. He told me 

that St John's has less Europeans (which tip crappy ) 

and that there is not as many locals either-----that its 

mainly people with money that stay over there.

Any truth to this suggestion from anyone?

Also I would think places like the Ritz Carlton, 

Marriott, or any of the resorts would be the ideal place 

to bartend in STT. Then again I can imagine the months 

June-Aug where hotel occupancy is like 20-25%. 

I used to work at the Hyatt Regency in Phoenix AZ, 

and thats how things were there during those months.

Yuppers, I'll say it again (and again, and again). Check your advertisement, people.

Exclusively From AutoglasSolutions®... MONEY SAVING BUNDLES!

Why buy a ‘Bundle’? First of all, it saves you a bundle…$15-30 off on the 

‘must have’ assortment of tools! We’ve cut the price compared to individual 

part pricing and included all the necessary items you will need to make your 

Express Tool Removal experience work! We’ve added an extra standard blade 

and two more long blades that are a ‘must have’ for many applications. 

The cutting lubricant, 2 quart pump sprayer and the Express Tool Sharpener, 

all help make the removal process go smoothly and efficiently. 

You and your tool will last longer with proper lubrication and a sharp blade! 

 Buy the bundle, and save a bundle of money…and time!

Yes, I am elg ible, and cer tified, and have exper ience, and would like more inform ation:-

More shit left at dumpsters; at this rate, you could furnish a shack-teau.

Oh, for fuckity fuck!

Original post:

if you are a carribe, please pm me. need very honest feedback.

A reply:

didn't the Tahino's kill all the Caribes?

Answer:

lmao!! yes, i laugh at myself everyday for something goofy...

my husband has been to stt several times. from my understanding 

the 'natives' are referred to as caribes or crucian or west indian, my mistake....

Hip, hip, hooray! More shit left at the dumpster.

Yes, donot sit on gaurd rail, ya don't wanna 'mash up!

Oh, cheese on bread, more horsefuckery.

Hovensa refinery, St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands

Hovensa

Porta-John, PortaJane, Johnny On The Spot, Port-O-Let, Port-a-Loo, Porta-Potty, Tidy John, John To Go, Biffs, and Toi-Toi.

Apparently, all flights in and out of ST Thomas, will be Delayed 

until the runway is fixed "properly"

It seams a crew went out and tried to put on a new asphalt surface, 

and was not done right , when the next plane landed it, it tore up 

the new asphalt, making it unsafe for plane to land or take off, 

all flight s are rerouted to Port a Rico, ..........reported 3;10 pm, 

I would stroghly sugest you call your airline for more info

Well, I guess she should look pretty raggedy if she just motored all the way from California.

Horsefuckery

Well, I guess my fifteen minutes of fame are here. Welcome to my world, and welcome to all of the horsefuckery that occurs on this island. Thanks to "Bronc", my PR guy, for that word, and no, I am not paying you. I am not here to pick on tourists, nor locals; I am just here to lift the veil on this dysfunctional asylum that we call "Paradise". Enjoy it, or move on. I'll be back soon.

New Kid's on the Block

When I grow up, I want to work for Tourism. You get to pick the "hour" you want to work. Um, no wonder the government is going belly-up broke.

You say tomato, I say duh.

Now THAT is an heirloom tomoato

May 1st, 2010