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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Hurricane Season is Over!

Well, we made it through another season with no storms. Which leads me to ask this question. Why did Worst Bank put up a hurricane shutter just a few days before season ended? Was it a really late fire drill? Or did someone go postal in there? Both questions make sense.

Perhaps it was the disgruntled customer who, last month, went to the ATM to get $50. The first machine didn't work, nor did the second. So off this person goes to Scotia Bank, got his $50, with a $2 fee. And was shocked, but not surprised, to see two $50 debits on his Worst Bank statement. After protesting it, the response from the bank was something along the lines of, "After investigation, we find no error on our behalf." So his $50 now cost him $102.

Hurry, Merchants! We can't wait to welcome you to St. John.

Friday, October 23, 2009

What happens...

...when a WAPA bucket truck hits a parked Dodge truck? Stay tuned for the whole story.

Edwards' Driving School

Dear Mr. Allen and Mrs. Edwards,

I saw the recent advertisement for your driving school, and read that you specialize in parallel parking. In the almost twenty years that I've lived here, I can't recall too many times that I have needed to parallel park. However, I do have some suggestions on other driving skills you may wish to teach.
How about teaching a class at the Red Hook barge dock to educate people on the proper etiquette for lining up in order, and backing on to the barge? Or the always delightful beeping while passing on a blind curve?

Another helpful exercise would be to teach us how to maneuver around a $1 safari taxi, when they stop at just about any place that pleases them. How about a lesson on getting a low rider sedan over a speed bump? Or, driving without spilling your Heineken?

And it would be AWESOME to show the drivers of St. John how to maneuver through our new round-about. As a friend of mine said, she'd like to stand in the center of the round-about and chant, "May the Circle be Unbroken". That means, you do NOT stop in the circle to pick up or let out hitchhikers, nor do you let incoming traffic yield to you. Keep moving, people!

You can sing along here:

I know the economy is hurting all of us right now, so perhaps these suggestions could increase your business.

Kind regards,

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Community Calendar

Check it! Lee V. with the latest on the community calendar. A reminder to all teachers, paraprofessionals, and school support staff to report for a mandatory back to school meeting on Wednesday, August 26.

That would be two months ago, because no way is the V.I Government that organized to get the 2010 dates announced!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


This is so very wrong. Four police cars taking up four precious parking spaces. My brother is going to kick my #@%@! if I don't start writing more. I have a feeling more of my posts will be titled "Why?" As in, "Why do I question these things?" Soon come, the tale of filing a claim with WAPA's insurance company, as I pose as my brother's wife. But I am not writing about that until the check clears!