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Friday, October 23, 2009

Edwards' Driving School

Dear Mr. Allen and Mrs. Edwards,

I saw the recent advertisement for your driving school, and read that you specialize in parallel parking. In the almost twenty years that I've lived here, I can't recall too many times that I have needed to parallel park. However, I do have some suggestions on other driving skills you may wish to teach.
How about teaching a class at the Red Hook barge dock to educate people on the proper etiquette for lining up in order, and backing on to the barge? Or the always delightful beeping while passing on a blind curve?

Another helpful exercise would be to teach us how to maneuver around a $1 safari taxi, when they stop at just about any place that pleases them. How about a lesson on getting a low rider sedan over a speed bump? Or, driving without spilling your Heineken?

And it would be AWESOME to show the drivers of St. John how to maneuver through our new round-about. As a friend of mine said, she'd like to stand in the center of the round-about and chant, "May the Circle be Unbroken". That means, you do NOT stop in the circle to pick up or let out hitchhikers, nor do you let incoming traffic yield to you. Keep moving, people!

You can sing along here:

I know the economy is hurting all of us right now, so perhaps these suggestions could increase your business.

Kind regards,

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