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Monday, May 31, 2010

And what the hell does that mean?

I don't think you'll need a very large amount of money to live here for one semester. 
A medium to large amount of money will do.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Alot? And you're a reporter?

Hammering hard and loving every minuteIn 3 days, La Vuelta encircles the entire island of Puerto Rico. The total distance is 375 miles. The shortest day’s ride is 94 miles. And, while the total elevation gain for the entire ride is only 11,000 feet, the few serious climbs on the route are STEEP. Some of the grades exceeded 15% and go on long enough that they’ve got to hurt. Riders are divided into three pelotons. The fast group rode at 25-30 M.P.H., the middle group at 20-25 M.P.H. and the “slow” group at about 18 M.P.H.
Riders in this year's LaVuelta tour on Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico has the three day La Vuelta Lighthouse Tour, 
covering 375 miles around the entire island. 
The Tour de France has, well, alot of France

I hope this helps you A LOT:

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Real Estate Listings

Oh, goodie! Another ghost in the mirror!

And what the hell is that bloody rag hanging over the TV?

Friday, May 28, 2010

You call this Innovative?

Thursday, May 27, 2010


"Good afternoon;  it's raining like crazy and my phone has gone out yet again".

Reply from a Kind Innovative Customer Service Agent (KICSA, kind of sounds like "Kiss My Ass"):

"OK, dear, give me your name and number and I'll set up a repair date".


"Good, I promise you that if my phone fixes itself after the rain ends, as it often does, I will cancel the appointment".

Reply from KICSA:

"Thank you.  I have you down for repair on June 1st.  I wish today was Friday".


"Sorry, honey, but hang in there.  Also, can you tell me how to call forward my phone line to my cell?".

Reply from KICSA:

"Oh, no dear, I don't know how to do that".


"Is there anyone there who can help me?".

Reply from KICSA:

"Oh, no, I don't think so".

Damn, I knew I should have never posted this:

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Anyhoo, I am planning on poking my eyeballs out rigth now.

 Planning 40th Birthday trip... 
May 19, 2010, 10:38 AM
Hi all. Iy's been a while :) We just returned form 
St. martin so I have been hanging out on that forum.
 e had a great trip and stayed in an awesome villa but 
SXM isn't one of my favorite islands. St. John is much better! best friend and I noth tirn 40 next spring so we 
are in the process of planning a trip for us and our hubbies 
(no kids). Our top choice rigth now is Staniel Cay in the Exumas. 
But also considering Anguilla and St. John. 
At first I really wanted to st. John but then i thought we 
should save that for when we bring the kids, but I am back and forth.
To help us make our decision, I wanted to present some villa 
options in St. John and see if anything fit the bill perfectly. I now 
require an awesome sunset view :) And while we don't need a
luxury vila, I would like something with a large outdoor living 
area and pool (hot tub would be nice too) . It really dens't 
matter to me which part of the island we are on 
as long as I can see the sunset!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Saturday, May 22, 2010.

So, I had an arrival today. My guests made the 1:00 boat from town, hooray. Love the downtown boat. I was headed for the dock at 1:40 p.m., and much to my surprise, saw this:

Access to the dock is closed, for what I thought was a steel pan fundraiser. I drove back around, through the round-about, and somehow managed to back up to the dock. THERE WERE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. And me, holding my little sign, and looking for my guests. All of a sudden, a helicopter swooped down, a DEA cigarette boat circled the harbor, the ambulance took off, and some "drunk man" was arrested and handcuffed while trying to board a power boat. Food was being sold in the park, and the steel pans were being set up. They were also doing tours on the Coast Guard cutter, tied up at the dock where the ferries should have been.

I felt like I was hallucinating. And I still could not find my guests. I asked someone at the dock what was going on, and his reply was something along the lines of "Safe Boating Week, and they are doing reenactments". Really?  Yup, your tax dollars at work;  all of the bells and whistles were out in full force today. I was actually too stunned and befuddled to pull out my camera.

I finally learned that the passenger ferries were diverted to the old barge dock at the creek. Cluster fuck? And that the main ferry dock had been closed since at least 8:00 this morning, according to the car rental agent, and she said departing guests were freaked out. Apologies to my guests who left this morning, I had no idea.

So, welcome to St. John! I don't think Tourism was at the creek to hand out free rum punches. It must have been a very warm welcome to arrive here, after traveling all day, to a harbor filled with every sort of local and federal agency swooping and swarming around. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, May 21, 2010

As I see it, ti's not really cute; I think ti's semi creepy.

So you see..ti's like this. I am semi retired and I think i would like to do the remainder 
of my cute little years in what I have heard is Paradise. I would like to begin by spending 
the month of July in a rented Apartment,or room in someone's house and keep the cost 
down so I can decide if my plan is what I want it to be. Anyone out there able to 
accommodate this idea...??? C'mon now.. you know it's you don't you..? Yes I thought so.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Can someone please tell me what this means?

"Live is not about surviving the storm, it's about dancing in the rain"

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Hmmm, come on down to St. John's; you seem to know it all, me son.

I have a friend who told me that St John's is the 
place to work for bartending as well. He told me 
that St John's has less Europeans (which tip crappy 
and that there is not as many locals either-----that its 
mainly people with money that stay over there.
Any truth to this suggestion from anyone?

Also I would think places like the Ritz Carlton, 
Marriott, or any of the resorts would be the ideal place 
to bartend in STT. Then again I can imagine the months 
June-Aug where hotel occupancy is like 20-25%. 
I used to work at the Hyatt Regency in Phoenix AZ, 
and thats how things were there during those months.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Yuppers, I'll say it again (and again, and again). Check your advertisement, people.

Exclusively From AutoglasSolutions®... MONEY SAVING BUNDLES!
Why buy a ‘Bundle’? First of all, it saves you a bundle…$15-30 off on the 
‘must have’ assortment of tools! We’ve cut the price compared to individual 
part pricing and included all the necessary items you will need to make your 
Express Tool Removal experience work! We’ve added an extra standard blade 
and two more long blades that are a ‘must have’ for many applications. 
The cutting lubricant, 2 quart pump sprayer and the Express Tool Sharpener, 
all help make the removal process go smoothly and efficiently. 
You and your tool will last longer with proper lubrication and a sharp blade! 
 Buy the bundle, and save a bundle of money…and time!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Oh, for fuckity fuck!

Original post:

if you are a carribe, please pm me. need very honest feedback.

A reply:

didn't the Tahino's kill all the Caribes?


lmao!! yes, i laugh at myself everyday for something goofy...
my husband has been to stt several times. from my understanding 
the 'natives' are referred to as caribes or crucian or west indian, my mistake....

Friday, May 7, 2010

Porta-John, PortaJane, Johnny On The Spot, Port-O-Let, Port-a-Loo, Porta-Potty, Tidy John, John To Go, Biffs, and Toi-Toi.

Apparently, all flights in and out of ST Thomas, will be Delayed 
until the runway is fixed "properly"
It seams a crew went out and tried to put on a new asphalt surface, 
and was not done right , when the next plane landed it, it tore up 
the new asphalt, making it unsafe for plane to land or take off, 
all flight s are rerouted to Port a Rico, ..........reported 3;10 pm, 
I would stroghly sugest you call your airline for more info

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Well, I guess my fifteen minutes of fame are here. Welcome to my world, and welcome to all of the horsefuckery that occurs on this island. Thanks to "Bronc", my PR guy, for that word, and no, I am not paying you. I am not here to pick on tourists, nor locals; I am just here to lift the veil on this dysfunctional asylum that we call "Paradise". Enjoy it, or move on. I'll be back soon.