My New Year's Wish

Happy New Year! May all good things come your way in 2010. I wish for good health for my loved ones, a peaceful world, and happiness. Oh, and for someone to remove this empty jar that has been sitting on top of the mailboxes on the corner of Traveler's Trail for at least two months.

Something screwy is going on here.

OK, so if you can see this picture of the frog that jumped me this evening, TERRIFIC! I don't mean terrific in the sense that I almost had a coronary, but great, because that means I am still alive. But I am getting some weird gobbly-gook when I try to post a photo on my end. So be it.

Moving onward.

Nice monsoon today for all of the holiday people. Boyfriend came over, then I had to move a car, so he gave me a near-death's ride to E&C to pick up my car. One windshield wiper, thankfully, it was on his side, and ridiculous puddles and hysteria on Jacob's Ladder. And then to return home to this thing lunging at my right arm.

Oh, and my phone is down, repair will be here after the New Year, STX Carnival, and Three King's Day.

WWE? Should be WTF?

Yesterday, I awoke at 3:00 a.m., with such a high fever that my teeth were chattering. I was too afraid to take my temperature for fear the thermometer would melt down. So I didn't get a chance to go to town to snipe any holiday tourons.

My other half came over this evening, and still feeling delirious, I relinquished the remote. To watch WWE, also known as World Wrestling Entertainment, formerly WWF, World Wrestling Federation. Got that?

It was like watching a train wreck, comprised of some of the things I like the least:

*Wrestling; need I say any more?
*A wrestling midget; double ewwww.
*Held at what was formerly known as The Hartford Civic Center; didn't part of the roof cave in years ago due to heavy snow?
*Crowds. I mean, SRO.

This is the stuff feverish nightmares are made of.

No Dumpins!

The saga of the heaps of trash thrown on the side of the road continues...

Day One

Starfish Market, St. John

4:00 p.m. on Saturday, 12/26/09

Today is a huge arrival day. It seems that most people choose to stay home for Christmas, and then arrive the day after Christmas. I shot this photo of that black rental vehicle in my side view mirror, idling behind me as I tried to back out of my parking space. I waited and waited for him to move, tooted the horn a few times, nothing. I mean, listen up! Shit or get off the pot. I beeped the horn again, and again, and again. And again. I am not kidding. I got out of my car, all pissed off, and the man was on his cell phone, oblivious to the world.

I guess I really am a No-See-Um, so I shouldn't complain!

Too much information, people!

6:00 p.m., Christmas Day, at the check-out counter at Pine Peace Market.

I was purchasing some groceries, and the woman in line in front of me was holding a wineglass (glass,not plastic) half full with red wine. She and her girlfriend were purchasing two bottles of champaign and a home pregnancy test. Her friend said, "Let me buy this for you, girlfriend, I'm there for you", as she patted her friend's belly. And you wonder WHY I don't want to leave my house?

Now we're talking!

My Idea of a Christmas Wreath

Merry Christmas

My friends and family know me so well!

DCLA? DLCA? Yes, I have a "complaint".

Dear Santa,

Greetings. I've been good this year, and I'd like two things for Christmas. First, for it to be over; and next, for the Virgin Islands Daily News, previous winner of a Pulitzer Prize, to hire a proofreader. I would have continued to highlight the other typos in this story, but my pen ran dry. So maybe you could leave a new one in my stocking? I guess that's three things.

Merry Christmas,

No-See-Um

Fed Up

A friend had a credit card sent from South Africa to St. John. It took three days to reach St. Thomas, and another three days to reach St. John. That's about 6,136 miles from South Africa to St. Thomas, and only about ten miles from St. Thomas to St. John.

Parking, again.

Email from building manager to all of the tenants:

Please be aware that the parking lot is for the customers of the XXXX - your customers. Tenants are not allowed to park in the lot overnight - and please do not even consider parking for an extended period of time. Many of you are going away for the Holidays - we wish you well. If you want to find your car when you return, we strongly suggest you park it somewhere other than the XXXX parking lot.

Have a wonderful, fun-filled and prosperous Holiday.

Reply from one of those tenants:

Might I suggest a more diplomatic approach when communicating with your customers, threats are seldom appreciated.

Sort of humble reply from building manager:

My sincere apologies if it seemed to be a "threatening" email. It was not intended that way but more of a reminder of the parking lot rules that often get overlooked. I thought people would appreciate a reminder rather than a surprise when they returned to find that their car had been towed. I appreciate your comments and will be more careful in the future.

Happy Holidays, XX

My Jeep

OK, so I recently had my car serviced. Oil changed and radiator flushed, plus one other thing. $307 later, I start my car, and oh, looky here! "Check Engine" and "Check Gauges" lights are on. Mind you, they weren't on when I dropped my car off, and I was shocked that the lights actually worked.

Dumpsters, again.

I imagine you people think I have a fascination with dumpsters. Well, not so much the dumpsters, but what is left behind. Yesterday, this rusty old file cabinet appeared, and today, there was the addition of a half-empty bottle of Mazola Corn Oil, just baking away in the sun. Yum, yum!

From Mazola's website, it reads:

Product may be stored up to one year under normal storage conditions (70°-80°F). Storage below 45°F may cause clouding and exposure to ultraviolet light can cause off flavors.

The Family That Plays Together, Stays Together

Cruz Bay, Saturday, 12/19, 4:15 p.m.

Seven people, in a two door Jeep Wrangler, headed to Woody's:

All tucked in, comfy and warm:

Mom and Dad are so out of the picture now. Seriously, people. Personal hygiene begins, and ends, at home:

Did ya hear what I just said? Stop brushing your hair, you're just going to Woody's:

The integrity of YOUR agency? My word.

Dear,

Thanks for your reply and assistance so far ..I am glad to tell you that we have concluded payment.

However we are going to send you my Visa Credit card details that will cover the cost of our trip,and the necessary arrangement.

Moreover, we also made an arrangement with a logistic traveling/ticketing agent. we have decided that only one person will have to handle the credit card information.

So once you are in receipt of it,you are required to charge the credit card,confirm the amount of ( $ 5,000 ) in your account then deduct the cost of your services ( $1,000 deposit ) and send ( $ 4,000 ) via western union, to the Logistic traveling/ticketing agent whose information will be forwarded to you once this is confirmed in your account.

Use the rest for the expenses.

So confirm this as i said and and provide me with your full information.

1) YOUR FULL NAME....

2) ADDRESS....

(3) PHONE NUMBERS for office records....

Please remember that the integrity of our agency is involved, so this business requires prompt response. I also hope the stay of the couples will be made comfortable.

Kind Regards,

Parking Monitor

No, this is an empty chair, enjoying a cool Perrier. Taking up a parking space.

Trash Disposal for Dummies

1. This is a dumpster, where you throw your trash:

2. This is not a dumpster, this is the side of the road:

He's kidding, right?

I booked my trip for STJ for December 29th - January 4th. I started calling for rental cars and there are absolutely none available on the island. That's not my main concern. My Main concern is that if no cars are available, that must mean the island will be busier than usual, which I totally expected. But how busy is it? Are the beaches crowded?

Travel Forums

About ten years ago, I learned about travel forums from a guest of mine. She and her husband rented a home that, unfortunately, was broken into during their stay. I was the person who greeted them and took them to their rental home, and during my orientation, I was quite thorough in advising them to lock up. I think her answer was, "We know about locking up, we're from New York City."

Once we found out about the break-in, we jumped through hoops to help them, including moving them to another home, lending them cash, and obtaining a copy of the police report.

They thanked us for our help while they were here, and no sooner did they get home, they went on one travel forum, and ripped us to pieces. We were "unresponsive", "couldn't care less", and "did nothing to help them out." In all fairness, the moderator of this website deleted her post. But after that experience, I began reading them on a daily basis, a combination of curiosity and damage control. And funny how this guest was the one who told me about this forum in the first place.

People are strange. They share such personal things online, writing about a week spent in a drunken, bloody blur. Recent comments from some trip reports:

• Our trip down was uneventful. I do recommend the Delta Travel Treats package. For $5 you get a really nice snack of salami, crackers, cheeses, chips, Mint Milanos, and dried cranberries. We bought two extra for beach snacks the next day. {Buying extra airline food? Blech.}
  
• I hit my head and had to go to the clinic. LOL. We had a great week and will perfect it even more next year. We need less and less booze, and more soda, water and juice! {No shit.}
  
• Needless to say, the place was deelish. We all unpacked-(which is secret code for "having sex")-(at least it was for me & Amy)- and then we actually unpacked. {What is wrong with you people?}
  
• While our cohorts were "unpacking", I decided to check out the rest of the home, the 3rd bedroom. It was equally coupled with yet another Roman Styled Orgy styled shower.-These bathrooms were huge. Lots of space. Strange, and wonderful...{Roman Styled Orgy styled shower? No, YOU are strange.}
  
• Can't wait to til you hear about me & Bobbys' hike!!! {Golly! Me & My Friends' can't wait to til hear!}
  

Septic Tank

A few years ago, I managed a brand new villa. Meaning, not quite ready for rental guests. The contractor never hooked up the septic system, so the tank became a holding place for unprocessed human waste, and the scent became unbearable. And of course, the owners ran out of money, so were unable to properly fix this problem.

And, so here was their low-budget solution:

Got an email from xxxxx and also talked to the manufacturer of the waste system. They are more inclined to think that the problem with the smell is with the holding tank and stagnate water. If the system was not working properly, then you would hear the alarm, which is a beeping sound. First dump the holding tank water with a submersible pump and then use vanilla extract to sanitize the walls. The vanilla extract will cut any odors, all you have to do is spray or splash it around the inside. When we get the landscape done we will have an irrigation system put in that uses that holding tank water and will keep it from stagnating. In the mean time you will just have to keep an eye on it.

Rockin' Chair

Some owners checked out today. Here are their deck chairs. Maybe that pile of rope below the right chair was going to be used to fix both chairs?