"One of the most deadest trees."

This travel forum report just tickles me pink. Where to start? The poor spelling and grammar? The fact that he ate poisonous fruit, and tried to extinguish the fire with "milk rum beer, water more beer, more milk?" Or the reply he got when he called the hospital in St. Thomas?

Oh, thank you for the invention of travel forums!

Just got back from St.John on Friday with a tale to tell.
We stayed at the far east end of St.John in a place called Raj Mahal. It was a nice place and no one around with a great view.
The wife and I and my uncle and his wife. To get this story started by the house there is a goat trail which goes down the hill which is a little steep and over grown. There is a salt pond then a strip of woods then the ocean. If you google it with maps you will see were I am talking about. It was Thursday afternoon and we wanted to get one more time in the ocean. My uncle is from the Teton mountains in Wyoming and is pretty rugged person. Now I told him to beware of the plants on land and don't touch anything around the reefs. OK the warning was placed. Now we go and hit the reefs and he goes exploring in the wooded area and around the salt pond. We get out of the water after about 2 hours and he is in the shade by the cliff downing water that we brought. His mouth was on fire and it was worst then any pepper in the world. He seen these fruit hanging from a tree and decided to pick one. Smaller then a plum he took a bite, it was really sweet and taste, but he spits it out. He takes another bite and same thing really sweet, but thinks about it and spit it out. Right about then his mouth turns on fire. Of course I called him an idiot and we went up the trail. He tried milk rum beer,water more beer, more milk but it wasn't putting it out. After 3 hours we went out to eat and it went away. We got up Friday and packed and he had a burn/ rash on his arm about 8" by 3". Sap from the tree must have touch his arm. We got back to Minnesota Friday night. I woke up and looked on the Internet to see what it was, the Manchineel Tree one of the most deadest trees. The fruit is called the Death Apple.
The trees are few and far between in the Carribean and parts of Florida. He called up St. Thomas Hospital and told them the tale.
Their responce was " You ain't dead yet?" "Well that's a good sign".
He got lucky and just needed a shot for the rash and some ointment.
Still had a good time.