Infernal Revenue Service

Dear IRB,

Good day. I have received three threatening letters from you, during the past month, demanding to be paid for Gross Receipts for the month of January, 2009. And each time, I have called (nice how your main phone line can ring straight through for anywhere from five to seven minutes) and faxed, to show that I do not owe anything. Learned that lesson a long time ago! Make copies when paying any taxes here, and get them stamped, and then hold on to them for the rest of your life.

I cannot renew my business license until I get a tax clearance letter from you. And I swear, you must try to wear people down, until they just pay it in utter frustration.

Imagine my thrill to discover that there is a tax payer's liaison at IRB! And imagine my shock when she called me after receiving my fax (yes, I had to fax these papers yet again) within an hour to state, "You don't owe anything." And by 5:30 that afternoon, she had my tax clearance letter, and mailed it on Friday, and here it is!!!

I am current in the filing and payment of my tax obligation! Neener, neener, neener! So now you may not seize my paycheck, bank account, auto, or other property, nor may you file a Federal Tax Lien, as per your letter dated 9/24/09.

Have a good day,

No-See-Um